Leading with Love: My WHY!

Hi lovely!! Now that my Leading with Love eBook has officially been out for a few months, I wanted to do a deep dive into my WHY behind the book. What does Leading with Love mean? Why is it the backbone of my wellness philosophy, etc.? Let’s dive into it..

From Perfection to Love

There’s something with our society that makes us think we have to be perfect, especially as women. We have to all fit into this mold of a box that society has created for us, and most times that box is truly and utterly unrealistic. It appears everywhere from how we should show up on social media to how we should dress to how we should eat and how we should move.

I fell into this trap for most of my teens and early to mid twenties. And you know what? It was EXHAUSTING. I was the ultimate people pleaser. I didn’t care about loving myself, I cared about other people loving me – because that was what would make me happy, right? I cared about being perfect. I cared about having the “perfect” body – no cellulite, no stretch marks, a size 0. I cared about having the perfect job, doing the hardest most perfect workout, perfect diet, perfect manners, perfect, perfect perfect. And for what? To please OTHER PEOPLE.

How backwards is that? For me it took a nasty and toxic relationship with a ton of verbal abuse to truly realize this, coupled with a lot soul searching for me to snap the EFF out of it. I realized that I wasn’t being true to myself. I was trying to please others and be perfect all of the time, and it was beyond exhausting. But the secret? You have to love yourself FIRST, put yourself first, honor what YOU need, and that’s where true happiness will be found. Not in some false pretense of perfection. 

Leading with Love: The Practice

I’m so happy to say that I now am able to lead with love (for myself) in all things that I do. Not a constant strive to be perfect for others. It takes a lot of self work. A lot of mindset work, but you know what? It’s worth it. YOU’RE worth it.

• • FOOD. We always get so hung up over food. And why? We need it to live. It nourishes our bodies. It gives us energy. It brings us memories. It’s GOOD! Why does it get such a bad wrap? My thought is because we try to control it. We try to perfect it. But there’s no perfect way of eating. Every, SINGLE, human is different. Every, SINGLE, human has different food requirements. And you know what? Your body will tell you what it needs if you simply LISTEN. Here are a few of my keys around approaching food with love:
    • Addition vs. elimination – always think, what can I add to my plate to feel good?
    • Trust yourself and your body – no one knows you better than yourself.
    • Monitor your language – food isn’t a treat, there’s nothing you have to do to earn food (no matter if it’s kale or a bagel), food isn’t good or bad. You don’t have to work for your food – you REQUIRE it to live. Period.
  • MOVEMENT: Notice how I call this movement and not exercise. I think we’re trained to believe that we need to be dripping sweat and be exhausted to get in a ‘good workout.’ But for me, I prefer movement. Moving my body every day. No time requirement, no sweat requirement. Just MOVING in a way that feels good.
    • The best movement is one you enjoy. Whether it be a walk, HIIT, pilates, yoga, jump rope, etc.
    • You’re not required to workout for an hour. Got 5 mins? 10 mins? 40? Great. Do what works for you.
    • Move in a way that makes you feel energized. 
    • Movement is medicine for the MIND! 
  • GRATITUDE & MEDITATION: Mindset > everything. Truly. Feeling anxious? Focus on what you’re grateful for. Feeling angry? Focus on what you’re grateful for. Feeling scattered? Focus on what you’re grateful for. You get the point. Gratitude has TRANSFORMED my life and my mindset. I swear by it every day. I use my five minute journal, daily stoic and meditation every morning. It sets the TONE. A beautiful day starts with a beautiful mindset, period!
    • Your mind will believe whatever you tell it. Self talk matters – talk to yourself like someone you love.
    • Be all of the validation you need. Don’t give that power to an outside source. You are the keeper of that power!
    • What you focus on grows. Focus on the good, and the good gets better.

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To recap: Fueling yourself with good food is one of the best acts of self love you can show yourself. Sometimes that may mean mom’s famous spaghetti and sometimes it may mean a big green juice. Trust your body and mind. Move because you love your body, not because you hate it. And finally, talk to yourself kindly. Show your mind love every day. Be your own best friend, you’re the best one you’ve got!

If you resonated with this at all, go grab your copy of Leading with Love. The book dives into all of the above and so much more. It also includes 15+ recipes, a meal plan, daily journals, etc. You can use code LDW5 for $5 off through 9/7!

Lots & lots of LOVE,

xo Alysia